New Ideas For RTE Programmes
25/08/08 22:31 Filed in: General
Nonsense
Autumn is almost upon us, so that means that RTÉ will
soon start airing their new schedule of original
programming. I use the word “original” hesitantly, as
it really is a long time since the national
broadcaster ever came up with anything remotely
innovative.
There seems to be a trend in Montrose to do an Irish version of successful UK series. So we have makeover programmes for both houses and women; turgid hospital drama crops up every now and then; and there are various food-themed shows, all pretty much cloned from originals from across the water.
But there’s one particular rut that RTÉ seems to be stuck in - celebrity reality TV. Fáilte Towers was on while I was away on holiday, but in truth, I doubt if I would have been able to sit through more than five minutes of it anyway. The problem with these programmes is that we don’t have a deep enough pool of willing or desperate celebrities to feature in these shows, and before long you can hear the distinct tone of a barrel being scraped. Whatever about the celebs, it’s the ideas that seem to be getting more desperate.
So here are a couple that might be of interest:
Celebrity Confessor - the public are invited to phone in (on a premium rate line, natch) in order to unburden themselves on a celebrity who will listen to their trials and tribulations with a sympathetic ear. But going “Yeh! Yeh! That’s desperate, altogether!” won’t be good enough. The celeb will have to get as much salacious background info as possible, the quality of which will be analysed and rated by an expert panel to include Joe Duffy, Brenda Power and Fr Brian D’Arcy.
Prison Food - Just as Jamie Oliver revolutionised school dinners in the UK, one of Ireland’s celebrity chefs would be invited to come into Mountjoy prison and bring the menu there up to the 21st century. Out would go the grey slop and in would come the rocket salads and crushed potatoes, and what have you. The cells would be miked up, so that the chef gets to hear the reaction from the inmates. It could also test the supervisory skills of a team of celebrity prison officers, as one prisoner would be involved in the kitchen and would have access to a supply of mobile phones, weapons and drugs, which he has to try to conceal in the food for passing on to his fellow prisoners. The public could place bets as to how long it would take till a riot starts, with all the proceeds going to charity.
They could be runners, I reckon.
There seems to be a trend in Montrose to do an Irish version of successful UK series. So we have makeover programmes for both houses and women; turgid hospital drama crops up every now and then; and there are various food-themed shows, all pretty much cloned from originals from across the water.
But there’s one particular rut that RTÉ seems to be stuck in - celebrity reality TV. Fáilte Towers was on while I was away on holiday, but in truth, I doubt if I would have been able to sit through more than five minutes of it anyway. The problem with these programmes is that we don’t have a deep enough pool of willing or desperate celebrities to feature in these shows, and before long you can hear the distinct tone of a barrel being scraped. Whatever about the celebs, it’s the ideas that seem to be getting more desperate.
So here are a couple that might be of interest:
Celebrity Confessor - the public are invited to phone in (on a premium rate line, natch) in order to unburden themselves on a celebrity who will listen to their trials and tribulations with a sympathetic ear. But going “Yeh! Yeh! That’s desperate, altogether!” won’t be good enough. The celeb will have to get as much salacious background info as possible, the quality of which will be analysed and rated by an expert panel to include Joe Duffy, Brenda Power and Fr Brian D’Arcy.
Prison Food - Just as Jamie Oliver revolutionised school dinners in the UK, one of Ireland’s celebrity chefs would be invited to come into Mountjoy prison and bring the menu there up to the 21st century. Out would go the grey slop and in would come the rocket salads and crushed potatoes, and what have you. The cells would be miked up, so that the chef gets to hear the reaction from the inmates. It could also test the supervisory skills of a team of celebrity prison officers, as one prisoner would be involved in the kitchen and would have access to a supply of mobile phones, weapons and drugs, which he has to try to conceal in the food for passing on to his fellow prisoners. The public could place bets as to how long it would take till a riot starts, with all the proceeds going to charity.
They could be runners, I reckon.