UnLaoised

Nonsense from the Irish Midlands

May 2007

"The People Have Spoken!"

Now that the election is over, the Mahon Tribunal goes back to work. Every day this week on Today FM's The Last Word, whenever Matt Cooper has covered the proceedings of the Tribunal, text messages flood in (no pun intended) saying "Leave Bertie alone! The people have spoken."

Does the fact that Bertie Ahern has more or less won another term as Taoiseach mean that no-one can question the source of his finances? That no-one has the right to query the inconsistencies in his account of how he bought his house? "Sure it was only small sums of money", seems to be a favourite theme.

What if more serious allegations had been made?

Let's say it was alleged he had mugged a pensioner. "Sure pension day is only next Tuesday, she'll manage till then. The people have spoken!"

Or if it was alleged that he went on a cocaine'n'whores bender in Brussels during an EU Heads of Government Summit. "He's a single man. Surely he's allowed to let off a bit of steam when he's away from home? Leave him alone!"
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The UnLaoised Groove Supply, Volume 12

From the DVD "Shake It Off", Wilco performing "Side With The Seeds".

(via Amazon.co.uk)

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Wilco - Sky Blue Sky

I preordered my copy of the new Wilco album "Sky Blue Sky" in the hope of having it as soon as it was released, and saving a few €s over what I'd pay for it in the shops. There was a special edition for €23.49 on play.com, consisting of the album and an accompanying DVD called "Shake It Off", so I ordered that. It was released last Tuesday week, but by Thursday my copy still hadn't arrived. I wandered into Tower Records in Wicklow Street that afternoon, and there it was on sale, CD + DVD edition for €21.95. D'Oh! It eventually arrived on Friday.

I started listening to Wilco ten years ago, with the album "Being There", and have followed them ever since. Their sound has evolved a lot in this decade, over the course of four more studio albums and a live album, plus several side projects. In my opinion, 2001's "Yankee Hotel Foxtrot" is a masterpiece, and it really marked their departure from the alt.country scene, with which they had been associated from their beginning. "A Ghost is Born" released in 2004 took them even further along that route, but to me this was a less satisfying piece of work, with quite banal lyrics on several tracks and a self-indulgent use of noise on tracks like "Less Than You Think."

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"Sky Blue Sky" is much more immediately accessible than YHF or AGIB. In some ways it is almost harking back to Being There (the title track itself is quite similar to "Far, Far Away".) The sound is much more mellow overall, but it does have twists and turns as we might expect from Jeff Tweedy and Co. Tweedy's fellow band members are much more to the forefront in this album, particularly guitar virtuoso Nels Cline.

Some hardcore Wilco fans may see this album as a regression. Like any other album by the band, it requires several listens in order to absorb it properly. Standout tracks so far for me are "You Are My Face", "Side With The Seeds" and "Walken."

It's well worth spending the extra few euros for the special CD + DVD edition, which features eight of the album's twelve tracks performed live by the band in their Chicago studio, plus numerous interviews.
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Does Anything Rhyme With Asparagus? Thought Not.

Seasonal food is a topic I come back to every now and then. I see it as important, not just from the "food miles" aspect, but also because food that has a short journey from the farm to the plate is likely to be more nutritious than that which has flown long-haul.

Asparagus is something we are used to seeing on supermarket shelves pretty much all year around. The European asparagus season is quite short, only a few weeks, and we are in the midst of it right now. Outside of this season, most of the asparagus you see comes from countries far away like Peru.

I love the stuff. Fresh asparagus, steamed, served with butter, salt and pepper, or dusted with fresh parmesan or smothered in freshly-made hollandaise sauce…

It doesn't half
make your wee smell, though.
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Tasting No

I have written before on the subject of tasting notes on restaurant wine lists. Most restaurants feel the need to describe what their wines taste like (well, that's not exactly true. They usually get their suppliers to do the describing for them), but in the end what ends up of the list is usually pretentious nonsense.

The idea of describing what wine tastes like is sound, but only when the wines being described actually have some character. In Ireland, seven bottles out of ten come from the "New World" (i.e. Australia, Chile, USA, South Africa, and to a lesser extent Argentina and New Zealand), and most of those have a retail price of €8 or less. Most of them are made (or marketed) by big corporations, and the wine in the bottle is usually a secondary consideration to the brand name on the label. The best you can say about them is that they are bland or inoffensive. If a restaurant stocks one of these, I can't see why they should see the need to describe what it tastes like. A picture of the label would be more effective at communicating the message.

Yesterday, I was in Dún Laoghaire and ended up in Café Mao for a quick nosebag at lunchtime. (I have never understood the rationale behind the name of that restaurant. I can't imagine a restaurant called Café Stalin, or Café Pol Pot, but that's by the by.) Anyway, while I was there, I came across an exquisite example of oenobollocks. A Merlot (always a difficult one to describe) on their wine list was flagged up as this:

Ruby red tending to Burgundy-red hues. Intense, persistent with complex scents of spices. Intensely vinous, harmonic.

This tasting note consists of three verbless sentences describing appearance, nose and palate. Obviously it was written by someone who has studied wine tasting, because these three things are considered sacrosanct when it comes to writing tasting notes. But sadly, the whole lot is meaningless bollocks.

"Ruby red tending to Burgundy-red hues."
Are Burgundy-red hues feeling a bit poorly, and Ruby red is wiping their feverish brows?

"Intense, persistent with complex scents of spices."
It's a cheap fucking Merlot. You don't get intensity, persistence, complexity, scents or spices with cheap fucking Merlot. You get bleh.

"Intensely vinous, harmonic."
Rule No.1. of writing short tasting notes: never use the same word twice. Once again, you don't get "intense" with cheap fucking Merlot. I should freakin' hope it's "vinous", seeing as it's wine, after all. "Harmonic"? If you ping the glass with your fingernail, does it give a perfect C major? I think the word the writer was scrambling for there was "harmonious", but again, it would not be appropriate here.

There probably is a nice picture of a kangaroo or something on the label of this wine. They should stick with that to sell it rather than trying to describe how awful it tastes.
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Joining In The Fun

The lads at Curry Chips are rounding up the election in their inimitable style. Here's my contribution:

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Clouds, Silver Linings, Etc

Well, it looks like we will have to endure another five years of Fianna Fáil in government. I hoped that we might get a change, but the electorate thought otherwise. The vote for both Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael, and the seats won by both parties are well up on 2002.

Enda Kenny can hold his head high after this election. Fine Gael look like they will regain all the ground they lost in 2002 and more. There is a tendency in political parties when they are not elected to government for the leader to resign. I hope that Enda Kenny resists this path. He should remain as leader and build on the gains made in this election. Pat Rabbitte is the leader who should walk the plank in this election. Labour have stagnated under his leadership.

So that's the cloud, where is the silver lining?

Sinn Féin. They were going to win ten seats. They were going to call the shots on who would form the next government. Their poster girl, Mary Lou McDonald was going to take a seat in Bertie's own constituency. They got their holes kicked, big time.

Independents. Pretty much wiped out. Sadly, that gobshite Jackie Healy-Rae will be around for another five years, but most of the "hospital" candidates look set to lose out.

Still waiting on the first count from Laois-Offaly…
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A Bit Of A Redesign

I have just upgraded to the new version (3.6) of RapidWeaver, the site creation tool I use for UnLaoised. Things haven't gone entirely smoothly, as I can't use the old theme in the new version.

So what you see now is just a temporary look. I'm looking for new themes and hope to have a more interesting one in place before long.
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Decisions, Decisions

Adds Thursday 7.25AM: I have tidied this post up a bit, to add in the bits I forgot last night.

And so, tomorrow is "Make Your Mind Up" day.

After three weeks of claims, counter-claims, accusations, rebuttals, photo-ops, debates, soundbites, stunts, acres of newsprint and hours of broadcasts, we get to the point where we mark our preferences next to the candidates offering themselves for election.

I have given a lot of thought to where my top preferences will go. There is no doubt that FF and the PDs have managed the economy well, but at what social cost? House prices have risen exponentially in the last ten years, to the point that first time buyers are taking on huge amounts of debt over very long periods. Yet rising house prices are seen as a good thing. Many are forced to the outer limits of the commuter belt in order to find suitable housing that they can afford. Thousands of people doing daily 150km round trip commutes is not good for the economy, the environment, the communities within which these people live, nor indeed for the commuters themselves or their families. But as Bertie himself said in a Morning Ireland interview last Monday we should at least be "tankful" that these people are in Athy, Arklow and Portlaoise, and not in Baltimore (I presume he means Baltimore, Maryland, as opposed to Baltimore, Co Cork), Sydney or London. A superb "Let them eat cake" moment.

The health service is a mess, but to be fair, Mary Harney is at least making an attempt to straighten it out. Unlike her two predecessors, who were reluctant incumbents of the role. Micheal Martin presided over what was probably this government's most forward-thinking policy initiative - the ban on smoking ion the workplace - yet he did nothing about the nursing home crisis.

There is a potential time bomb down the road for the Education system. Provincial villages have become commuter towns overnight and their schools are reaching bursting point. There have been 2000 new houses built in Sallins, Co Kildare in the last ten years, but they still don't have a secondary school. They have to go the already overcrowded schools in Naas. We had the dreadful situation in Laytown, Co Meath, where there were no places for 90 school starters last September. Expect to see this happen more often within a semi-circle with an axis that stretches from Drogheda to Arklow.

Back in 1999, when the first National Development Plan was launched, we were promised motorway links between Dublin and all the major cities in the state by 2006. That has been revised back to 2010. The Dublin Port Tunnel was two years late, several million Euros over budget and one metre short in height. Two new LUAS lines were built in Dublin, but they did not intersect. Bordeaux built their "LUAS" at the same time as Dublin, and all three lines intersect.

Ten years into this government and still we rely on imports of oil for our energy. There has been sod all effort made at creating a policy on long-term energy security. We're lucky at the moment that the dollar is so weak. Can you imagine the price of oil if $1 was worth more than €1? This is a pressing issue and there has been virtual silence from all parties on it. We need to look at increasing dramatically our renewables, and at least talk in a rational way about the prospect of nuclear energy.

I'm going to vote for change. Ten years is long enough to be in government and get your policies implemented. After that, arrogance sets in. It's like that shit that comes out whenever a party has been in power for a long time - the opposition front bench don't have enough ministerial experience and therefore can't be trusted. Tony Blair had no experience before he became prime minister of the UK and he did alright (his role as Bush's bitch notwithstanding.)

There is also a local reason behind my decision. The party standing in Laois/Offaly after the 2002 election was FF 3, FG 1, PD 1. Four to one in favour of the current government. I don't believe that this accurately reflects the wishes of the Laois/Offaly electorate, and a 3:2 split would be more appropriate.

The policies of the various parties are broadly similar, so the decision is who is the most competent and trustworthy. FF and the PDs have produced some excellent ministers like Brian Cowen and Mary Harney. But they have also had some chumps like Noel Dempsey, Dick Roche and Martin Cullen. Hopefully FG/Lab/Greens will be a lot better at managing the country than FF/PDs. They can't be much worse.

Some might say that they can't be bothered voting, and that their vote won't make any difference. Seats have been won and lost on a handful of votes in the past, so every vote does count. I remember my father telling me about the count in Mayo last time round. I can't remember the exact details, but if a small number of votes had gone in another direction, Enda Kenny would have lost his seat and Jim Higgins would be challenging Bertie Ahern for the top job now. Instead, it was Higgins who lost his seat.

The time has come. Let's see what the other lot can do.
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Go On, Yeh Boy Yeh!

For those of you not fortunate enough to live in the Laois-Offaly constituency, I give you the election literature of independent candidate extraordinaire, John Bracken.

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Full-fat version here

More John Bracken:

But, Are Ye Ridin'? (Green Ink)
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The UnLaoised Groove Supply, Volume 11

I just found this. "Jed's Other Poem (Beautiful Ground)" by Grandaddy. The video was "Programmed in Applesoft II on a 1979 Apple ][+ with 48K of RAM. Seriously." according to the notes accompanying the video.

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The UnLaoised Groove Supply, Volume 10

Cowboy Junkies doing Lou Reed's "Sweet Jane"

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Mayo Mauled

Enda Kenny can kiss goodbye the possibility of a third seat in his own constituency of Mayo.

And if you are a Mayo fan and enjoy good writing on what is, ultimately, a painful and futile obsession, then the musings of Willie Joe at
Green and Red will be right up your street.

[Disclaimer - Even though the site is called UnLaoised, I am actually a native of Mayo.]
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Election Linky Stuff

This election, more than any before it, is heavily influenced by the internet. All the parties have their sites ship-shape, and indeed most individual candiates have their own sites and blogs on the go too.

We have sites that seek to help us make our choice.
pickyourparty.ie does this by gauging your position on various issues, assigning it a numerical value, and then comparing this with the numerical value it has evaluated for the various parties. Unlike the political compass, it is specific to Ireland and matches your opinions to a party rather than just point ot a particular political ideology.

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Election Pap

This was waiting for me on the mat when I came home this evening:

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Full-fat version here.

Many are predicting that Sinn Féin will achieve their long-awaited breakthrough this election, and if they do, it won't be from want of producing mindless pap. Let's take a close look at the leaflet I received today.
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Some Photos

One thing I have been meaning to do for a whole is to use the photo page feature of Rapidweaver. It's a really nice component of the app, and photos can be presented either as a gallery or as a Flash slideshow. It's also handy to be able to stay within the site rather than to have to go out to Flickr or Photobucket.

So the
first collection is an album of 29 photos taken at Emo Court, a short distance from where I live. Emo is the only private residence in Ireland to have been designed by the great Georgian architect James Gandon. Set in some beautiful parkland (which is kept impeccably by the Office of Public Works), it is a popular destination for weekend walkers.

Emo will host a
major gardening exhibition during the summer, from June to September.

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Pasty Posters

Still on the subject of posters, I was in Cork at the weekend and noticed something odd about the Fine Gael posters in the South Central constituency. A good few of them had lost their definition and had taken on a weird pasty look. Unfortunately, I didn't have a camera to hand, so the best I can do is give an idea using a Photoshop filter.
Wait! There's More…
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He's Free!

Last week, I posted a photo of one of Aengus Ó Snodaigh's election posters, that I'd seen on the Long Mile Road, under the heading "Free The Dublin South-Central One!"

Driving up the LMR today, I noticed that it is no longer there. Maybe he has won his liberty. That's the power of a campaigning blog for ya!
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"Where Are You Going, With Your Fetlocks Blowing, In The … Wind?"

Oh dear! Ireland's real-life "My Lovely Horse" moment came true last Saturday night, when Dervish came last in the Eurovision. The post-mortems have been ongoing since then, with the performers and songwriters taking most of the flak.

Much of the criticism is unfair, I think (as indeed is my headline.) Unlike Ted and Dougal's infamous ditty, the song wasn't expressly chosen to lose Ireland the competition. Whatever one's opinion of the song - and I hold none, because (a) even though I have heard it a couple of times, I can't actually remember anything about it, and (b) I tend not to opine on the merits or otherwise of individual Eurovision entries - there is no doubt that it was the wrong song for the occasion.

Wait! There's More…
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Housekeeping

Just back from a couple of days R&R down Cork and Waterford way. We left the little 'un with her granny for the night and scuttled off to the lovely Blackwater Valley for a relaxing night away. Great to recharge the batteries.

I have just tidied up my fancy
Blogroll, adding a few new links into the mix. If you would like a link from there to your site, drop me a line.

Una kindly recommended this site in her piece in the Tribune's election coverage. I'll have to start writing something then, I suppose. Hmmm, maybe tomorrow...

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Scoop

The Rag has the inside track on what's been happening in Portlaoise prison.

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Bad Idea

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Common Sense Prevails

Thankfully.

No excuse, pols. We can't keep going to the courts every time a situation like this comes up. We have had several referenda on the subject of abortion.

Legislate, and be done with it.
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It's The Way You Tell 'Em!

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Less Is More (Irritating)

via Semper Idem

An excerpt from Seamus Brennan's rebuttal of the Fine Gael manifesto:

Implementation of the Fine Gael Manifesto would deliver 1,000 less Gardai onto our streets and 1,500 less acute beds in our hospitals, than the Fianna Fáil option.


Jesus wept! At least get your grammar right, man!

Fewer Gardaí. Fewer acute beds.

Why can't people get that one right?


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Can We Just Resolve This Now, Please?

I was 17 when the abortion referendum was passed in 1983. Obviously, I didn't have a vote, but I still vehemently opposed the amendment to the Constitution.

Today, another 17-year-old is having to live with the nonsense of the Eighth Amendment to the Constitution. Miss D, who was herself born six years after its passing, is being prevented from leaving the State in order to procure a termination of pregnancy. The foetus she is carrying has a condition that means it will die as soon as it is born.

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Whaaa?

What sort of libel laws do we have where Monica Leech can be awarded €250k in her case against RTE?

If an RTE reporter stood outside the Department of Transport and made the allegation in question live on the 9 o'clock news, the it might be justified. But what happened was that a caller to Joe Duffy's Liveline made a lewd remark regarding Ms Leech and Minister Martin Cullen. The caller was cut off straight away, and Duffy and RTE distanced themselves from the comment immediately.

Were RTE at fault? Maybe, for not screening the callers. But as the person who made the allegation had no connection with RTE, then surely this award is excessive.

A few thousand at most would have been more appropriate.
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Web 2.0 World

via Treasa:

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Seen here first.
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Political Cliché No 95: "Politics Is The Art Of The Possible"

File under "Whodathunkit"

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Free RapidWeaver

I'm a big fan of RealMacSoftware's RapidWeaver web creation tool, so much so that I use it to create this site. Normally it costs $40, but you can snag a free licenced copy by purchasing this month's MacUser magazine.

Alternatively, you can go to
my Mac blog and I'll show you how to get it easier than that.
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The UnLaoised Groove Supply, Volume 9

Nothing from YouTube this time.

Wilco release their new album "Sky Blue Sky" next week and are kindly allowing fans to
preview it in its entirety on their site.
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Political Cliché No 94: "A Week Is A Long Time In Politics"

And so it has proven to be in the last seven days. Bertie's campaign, having gotten off to a bizarre start with the early-Sunday-morning dash to The Park, has descended into farce. Michael McDowell's press conference yesterday has pretty much put the kybosh on the PDs going back into government with an Ahern-led FF. In truth, yesterday's press conference has effectively brought McDowell's brief tenure at the helm of the PDs to an end. He admitted to have been sold a pup by Bertie Ahern last year, and so his credibility is in shreds.


This election is now Fine Gael/Labour's to lose. If they do lose it, then they might as well just give up and go home.
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FREE THE DUBLIN SOUTH CENTRAL ONE!

Election poster spotted on the Long Mile Road today:

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