UnLaoised

Nonsense from the Irish Midlands

Mar 2009

Comparing Apples To Lemons

Microsoft have a new TV ad out in the US, which features a woman called Lauren out shopping for a 17” laptop, with a strict budget of $1000. On her travels, she drops into an Apple Store, but leaves quickly as there is nothing on offer there that falls within her budget. (The cheapest 17” notebook is the MacBook Pro at $2799.)

Eventually, she manages to get a HP Pavilion for $699. Good for her!

The subtext of the ad is that Apple notebooks are expensive, and therefore poor value for money. That is like saying that a BMW is poor value compared to a Ford Fiesta. Or that lunch in Patrick Guilbaud’s is poor value compared to a sandwich from an O’Briens Sandwich Bar.

A HP Pavilion running Windows Vista Home Edition is not comparable to a MacBook Pro running Mac OS X. They have different processors, screen resolutions, build quality, installed software, battery life, warranty, etc., etc. That’s not to say that the MBP is the right choice for anyone looking for a notebook. Nor is it meant that the HP is a piece of crap. It will suit the needs of many just fine. However, anyone who would seriously consider buying a MacBook Pro would not give the HP a second thought. These machines are aimed at a certain market, mainly professionals, whose needs would not even begin to be met by the cheaper Windows-based computer.

TUAW have
a post on it, there’s a lively discussion on Engadget, and The Joy of Tech take the piss.

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Face The Ball - Week Six

FaceTheBall.com

The Six Nations may be over, but the National Football League goes on. I suppose I had to have a bit of luck at some point, and this week a lot of it came right.

I had two games exactly right and another two within a point, giving me a best-ever score of 138. That was enough to lift me off the floor of the
Green & Red mini-league, up to the heady heights of 27th.

My scorecard is below. I should frame it, I reckon.

FTB - Wk6
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I Can Relate To This

Click for the whole thing:

xkcd - parking

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A Load Of Balls And A Manky Drop Goal

This is very clever:



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Big Awkward Daddy Fingers

Aoife, who is now two years and seven months old, is picking up new words and phrases every day. One morning, as I was trying to dress her and she was wriggling about, I told her to stand still as I was having difficulty doing up the teeny-tiny buttons on her top with my “big awkward Daddy fingers.” Now, of course, whenever I have to do up or undo anything for her that involves buttons she says “Daddy, you got big awkward Daddy fingers.”

Blackberry_2_430.jpg
Anyway, my BADFs have something new to get used to. Today, my colleagues and I received our new regulation issue BlackBerrys. As we had a choice in which device to go for, and the fact that Vodafone were offering them for free, we all went for the Storm. I used to have a BlackBerry before in my old job, but it was nothing like this. The Storm is much more iPhone-like, with a touch-screen interface. Having played around with iPhones in the Apple Store in London and also with those of friends, I have to say that I find the Storm a bit heavier and clunkier to the touch. But still, I reckon I’ll get used to it. The on-screen keyboard will probably take the most getting used to.

On a related note, this new device marks the end of my relationship with O2, which goes back over eleven years. I got my first mobile in October 1997, when it was Esat Digifone, and had been with them ever since, on the same number and even the same PIN code. It was my job to upgrade my colleagues and I to BlackBerrys, and I found that Vodafone were much more keen to get our business than O2 were to retain it.
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Why Are There No Bonus Points In The Six Nations?

The above question was one that raised its head recently in conversation.

A win in the Six Nations earns the winner two points in
the table, a draw earns one point each and a loss leaves the beaten team empty-handed. Most of the major rugby tournaments in the world now use a bonus point system, including the Tri-Nations. Under this system, a win earns four points, a draw earns two, and a loss earns none. However, a team that scores four or more tries, or loses by less than seven points earns a bonus point. It incentivises teams to aim for tries rather than just going for penalties or drop goals, and it also gives teams that are ten points or so behind on the scoreboard something to play for in the last minutes of a game. It works very well in the pool stages of the Heineken Cup, and Munster in particular are masters at using it to their advantage.

So why is it not used in the Six Nations? I was thinking about it today as I was stuck in traffic, and I think I have come up with an answer.

Imagine for a moment that there are two unbeaten teams facing up to one another in a Grand Slam decider on the last day of the Six Nations. Team A has gained a four-try bonus point in each of their previous four matches, while Team B hasn’t gained any. If Team B were to win that match, they would win the Grand Slam, but if Team A secured a losing bonus point, they would win the Championship by virtue of having earned one more point in the table than Team B. (Team A would have 21 points while Team B would have 20.)

I readily admit that it’s an outside chance that a situation like this would actually happen, but it is a plausible possibility.
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Face The Ball - Week Five

FaceTheBall.com

Last week of the rugger this week and I came into it in 22nd place overall.

FTB Wk 5 Rugby

I can’t imagine too many got the Italy-France score bang on, but other than that, I did OK. I finished 16th overall, which is a decent result.

There were some low scores in the GAA this week, mainly because of the three draws. This is one thing about the scoring system that needs to be looked at, I reckon. You can predict the winner and be out by 50 points, yet you will still earn points for correctly predicting the winner. However, if you predict a team to win by a single point and the match ends in a draw, you get nothing. Of course, if you predict a draw and the game ends in a one point win for either team you get nothing either. So you need to be pretty confident of a draw before predicting it, as it’s all or nothing.

Here’s my scorecard:

FTB Wk 5 GAA

That leaves me 307th in the overall standing, and of course, in my by now customary 29th place out of 29 in the Green And Red mini-league.

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Destiny Fulfilled

Can you imagine if Stephen Jones had nailed that last penalty?

Or if ROG had missed that drop at goal?

IrelandGrandSlam2009PA.jpg
It was moments like those that contributed to the drama of Ireland’s first Grand Slam win in 61 years, and our first Championship in 24. Before this Six Nations started, I would have been happy with a Championship win, with or without a Grand Slam. But as this weekend approached, it was all or nothing. A loss to Wales by fewer than 13 points would have delivered us the title, but it would have been a hollow victory. The men taking the pitch today were thinking along the same lines. They wanted their Grand Slam and their names in the history books, and by Christ, no-one was going to stop them.

Ireland were easily the better team on the day, but their indiscipline almost cost them the prize. This is somewhat ironic, because up to now, their discipline was nigh on impeccable. In the first game against France, they conceded only two penalties all match. Today it was almost ten times that, and several of them were in the Irish half, this allowing Stephen Jones & Co to capitalise. Thankfully, the only attempt by Gavin Henson to have a go at the dead ball came up short.

This is a great day for many. For Declan Kidney, who took this bunch of outrageously talented players and moulded them into a winning force. He also magnanimously paid tribute to Eddie O’Sullivan. For Brian O’Driscoll, who was our player of the tournament. For Paul O’Connell, who simply was his awesome self. For Ronan O’Gara, who managed to exorcise some of his demons, though more need to be worked on. For John Hayes, whose 94 caps for Ireland finally bring some tangible reward. And of course, for all the rest of the squad, their coaches and the backroom staff.

But not only that, this is a great day for the grassroots of Irish rugby - the clubs, the schools and everyone who has nurtured the talent over the years. Great rugby players and teams don’t just drop from the sky. Talent has to be identified and developed. We are a small nation and rugby is at best the third (and it might even be the fourth) most popular team sport. But we have been blessed with a truly golden generation of Irish rugby players, and we even ask why it took so long for them to realise their potential. We should count ourselves lucky that we have had such a confluence of talent at this point in time. That the two most prestigious trophies in European rugby are now in Irish trophy cabinets (well, metaphorically at least), shows that Irish rugby punches well above its weight.

Sixty-one years. The last time Ireland won a Grand Slam, the second world war had finished only three years earlier. The Irish team that beat Wales to win the Grand Slam at Ravenhill in 1948 stood for God Save The King as their national anthem. The Republic of Ireland didn’t exist. The moon landings were 21 years away. Elvis hadn’t even entered the building, never mind left it.

We should savour this and enjoy it. We may not see too many more in our lifetime.
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Believe

So it all comes down to Saturday. Eighty minutes to bridge the gap between 1948 and 2009. An opportunity for Jack Kyle and the other surviving members of Ireland’s last Grand Slam winning side to finally hand the baton over and retire.

Jeremy Guscott reckons we’re going to choke. No doubt there will be a succession of pundits lining up between now and teatime on Saturday explaining exactly why Ireland will throw away their best ever shot at the Grand Slam. I only hope George Hook is one of them, because he normally gets it wrong. Personally, I couldn’t give a shit what any of them say, because we are going to win not just the Championship, but the Slam as well.

“But, but, but… we have to play Wales, the defending Grand Slam champions in Cardiff. Surely, we haven’t got a hope? I mean, Wales are a top class side.”

The only thing that Wales have going for them next week is that we are playing them in Cardiff. In order to retain the Championship, they have to beat us by 13 points. I’m not underestimating the Welsh, but we should be able to beat them. They have some good players, but ours are better. They have a good coach, but ours is better. They are drawn from a collection of Welsh clubs and provincial teams that Irish teams beat for fun in the Magners League and Heineken Cup.

The current Irish squad are sick to their back teeth of being known as nearly men. They know that they threw away a Grand Slam in 2007. Sometimes it happens in sport that the finest player of a generation can go through his career without winning top honours. If this fate should befall Brian O’Driscoll, then it will be one of rugby’s tragedies. This season has seen Ireland’s captain regain his form of old, and he has been unquestionably the outstanding Irish player of the Six Nations. This, in a season where we have seen players like John Hayes, Paul O’Connell, Donncha O’Callaghan, Stephen Ferris and David Wallace play the best rugby of their careers for province and country. In addition we have seen the raw talents of players like Jamie Heaslip, Luke Fitzgerald, Tommy Bowe and Rob Kearney being honed into devastating effect. And of course, we have witnessed to comeback of the season, where Peter Stringer has forced his way back into the national team.

There is one simple reason why Ireland have been in such good form this season - the coach. Declan Kidney would appear to take the approach that if you are good enough to pull the green of Ireland on over your head, then you must know a thing or two about the game of rugby football. Rather than imposing a top-down approach, he would appear to foster a regime that allows players the space to bring their best to the table and allow them to develop their own game plan among themselves. Anyone who doesn’t fulfill his side of the bargain will have to deal with not only the wrath of the coach, but that of his colleagues as well. In other words, it’s all built on trust of one another. The ultimate team approach.

In looking forward to Saturday, we must also take the Munster factor into account. In the four matches so far, eight of the starting fifteen were Munster players. It is likely to be a similar proportion again on Saturday. Every single one of those Munster players has a Heineken Cup medal, and most of them have two. Both of them were won at the Millennium Stadium and both were won under the tutelage of Declan Kidney. The spine of this team is made up of winners, not chokers. Alongside them is the finest player ever to don a green No 13 shirt. On Saturday, Brian O’Driscoll and the rest of the non-Munster contingent will be honorary Munstermen, and buy into the winning philosophy.

Now, of course it will not be an easy match. The permatanned sunshine boys will ask serious questions of our defensive capabilities, and we will have to contend with genuine game breakers like Martyn Williams, Shane Williams and Tom Shanklin. Cool heads will be required, especially if Wales get in front. However, I expect Ireland to be able to contain the Welsh threat, and when the time comes, just close the deal out.

Of course, I may be wrong in this assessment. But even if I am wrong, come Saturday night, I will not be embarrassed. The title of this post is “Believe” not “I Can See The Future”. I believe that Ireland will win the Grand Slam on Saturday. If we go about our lives not believing in our own capabilities, how can we expect others to believe in us?

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Retail Fail

Spotted in Lidl in Portarlington:

IMG(055)

Technically, yes. But “Seriously”? Hmmm…

Also this bit of gender confusion in Dunnes of Portlaoise:


IMG(054)
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Face The Ball - Week Four (Rugby)

Good result this weekend - I had all three winners. I just got the margins of victory badly wrong for two of them. But then, so did everyone else. Who would have predicted that Wales would huff and puff to beat Italy, and that England would blow France to kingdom come at Twickers? I’m up 33 places in the overall leader table to 22nd.

FTB Wk 4 - 6N
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Face The Ball - Week Four (GAA)

Mixed result this weekend. I got the winners of all of Saturday’s GAA matches wrong, but made up some ground on Sunday with four out of five winners. That netted me 108 points, but I’m still 29th out of 29 in the Green & Red mini-league. This time, in order to make up for my lack of knowledge of GAA matters, I consulted an online betting resource and formulated my predictions based on the odds on offer. That resulted in a 50% success rate, which is better than average for me.

FTB Wk 4 - GAA
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It's Tantalisingly Close

Ireland’s hard-earned win over Scotland today means that the Six Nations championship is now Ireland’s to lose. Should England beat France tomorrow (which I reckon they will), then it will be a straight two-horse race between Ireland and Wales for the title. However, Wales will have to win by 13 points to retain the title, while we can afford to lose by 12. Any win by Ireland gives us the Grand Slam.

Ever since the win over England, Declan Kidney was keen to stress that the Scotland match was not a foregone conclusion. And he was right - Ireland were made to work hard for that win, and had to come from behind to do it. Scotland won the first half decisively, and Ireland were forced to compete for scraps. We were 12-9 down going into the break, and it could just as easily have been 19-9.
BrianODriscoll_MaxEvans_GraemeMorrison_IrelandvScotland
But, Munster-like, Ireland came out in the second half and just took control of the match. Discipline was vastly improved, ball-retention was much better, and crucially, Ireland upped the pace to a level that Scotland simply couldn’t match. The Irish try was reminiscent of Stringer’s try for Munster in the Heineken Cup Final of 2006. Off a set-piece, the scrum-half spotted a gap and just galloped through it. Sadly, this time he didn’t make the line, but he was able to offload to Jamie Heaslip who did. (Incidentally, I reckon Heaslip will get his hole kicked severely for his inexcusable showboating before he scored. Save your celebrations until the points show up on the board, Jamie.)

There were excellent performances from several Irish players. Peter Stringer - what can we say? Out of favour at both Munster and Ireland, and he comes back with a Man of the Match display. He has to start against Wales. John Hayes was immense as ever. Rory Best was solid in the scrum and was bang on in every lineout. POC and DOC were untouchable, as ever. Ferris and Wallace were their destructive best. ROG packed his kicking boots today, contributing 17 of the total of 22. He’s now the highest scorer in the history of the Six Nations. O’Driscoll continued the return to his imperious best with a magnificent display, both offensively and defensively. The other four backs had good solid games too.

Earlier today, Wales had to dig themselves out of a hole to get past Italy in Rome. A late Tom Shanklin try spared their blushes. Had they lost, and if England were to beat France tomorrow, then Ireland would have had the title in the bag by tomorrow evening. But they didn’t, so we won’t. Wales are well known for their poster-boy, fake-tanned showboaters, but their two most effective players are the least flashy - Martyn Williams and Tom Shanklin. The latter in particular must rue the fact that his career coincided with that of Brian O’Driscoll, as if it hadn’t been so, then Shanklin would be the first choice outside centre for the Lions in both 2005 and 2009. Both Shankiln and Williams will start next week, as will the other Williams - Shane - and all three have potential to do us some serious damage.

But that’s for another day. Let’s celebrate today’s win and get behind the lads to go to Cardiff and finish the job.

Coming soon - Ireland, Munster and the Millenium Stadium Effect.

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Changes For Ireland

I was away last night, and so only now have the chance to write about the team announcement for Saturday’s Six Nations match against Scotland.

Most commentators were expecting that Declan Kidney would stick with the same starting fifteen as the previous three matches. The only change that might have been predicted was Gordon D’Arcy coming in for Paddy Wallace. But no-one saw four changes coming. Rory Best will replace Jerry Flannery at hooker, Denis Leamy comes in at No 8 in place of Jamie Heaslip, Tomás O’Leary makes way for Peter Stringer at scrum-half, and D’Arcy gets the inside centre spot in preference to Wallace.

Why change? It’s not as if any of these guys underperformed in the three matches of the campaign. Indeed Jamie Heaslip was awarded RBS Six Nations Man of the Match by the BBC in the game against France. One thing is for sure, this is not a case of first team players being replaced by second string for an “easy” match. For a start, the players coming in are the equal of those making way. And secondly, Scotland at Murrayfield is never an easy fixture.

What Kidney has done is to let his squad know that everyone has a chance. When you have two players vying for the same jersey, with absolutely nothing to separate them in terms of ability, then it is only fair that both get the chance to show what they are worth. In some cases there are marginal differences in skills, and it is knowing which games require which skills that makes Kidney such a good coach.

One problem we have had of late has been slow ball coming back from the ruck. While Tomás O’Leary is an excellent tactical player and a superb defensive option, Peter Stringer is brilliant at getting fast ball out. His distribution skills also helps in getting the outside backs onto the ball at pace, and that extra millisecond he gives to O’Gara and the three-quarters can make all the difference between them breaking the line or being swallowed up in a tackle.

The Heaslip/Leamy call must have kept Kidney awake at night. Both are immense at the breakdown and are highly effective ball carriers. There is absolutely nothing between them. While some might say that it is a blow to Heaslip to be on the bench, it has been the same for Leamy for the previous three games. We can’t have two No 8s in the starting XV, so one has to make way.

As I said, it will not be an easy game. Many times in the past, Ireland have come to Murrayfield with the expectation of a walkover in the minds of supporters and media alike, only to be subjected to a grueling 80 minutes. Ireland need to keep their defensive discipline as intact as in the previous three matches. They also need to keep their overall discipline in check and not concede any penalties within kicking range, as Chris Paterson is at full-back for Scotland, and he doesn’t miss too many.

Ireland should win this, but even though the Irish team would be considered the better prepared and more settled, they will have to face the intangible force of Scottish passion and pride. We’re in for a bumpy one.

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Zurich Insurance Slogan

Maybe it’s just me, but every time I hear an ad for Zurich insurance on the radio, I get the impression that the first draft of this:

Zurich Insurance - What Happens

was this:

Zurich Insurance - shit Happens

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FaceTheBall - Week Three (GAA)

Better effort this week, scored 129 points, which is more that my total for the first two weeks combined. Got the winners of five of the eight matches, and was only a point out for the Derry v. Kerry match. Still way, way down the table and propping up the Green & Red Mini-League.

FTB Wk GAA 3

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I Wonder…

In Sunday’s Observer Jay Rayner reviewed a new steakhouse in London called Goodmans. It’s owned by a Russian, who when asked about the name, replied “Because they are good steaks for good men.”

Goodmans? Beef? I wonder is there an Irish connection somewhere?
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FaceTheBall - Week Three (Rugby)

Forgot to post this at the weekend. Better late than never, I suppose. Further slippage in the Six Nations table, mainly because I tipped Italy to beat Scotland. I did, however, get the France-Wales result spot on. Down to 55th now. Oh, for the heady days of sixth in the table.

FTB Wk3

I’ll have to sit down and study the form for the next round of the GAA. I have serious ground to make up.

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Wilco & Fleet Foxes

As the young folk might say, I’m currently liking Fleet Foxes. I got their album shortly after Christmas, and it is wonderful.

Here they are, with my all time favourite band Wilco, recreating The Last Waltz and performing I Shall Be Released.



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The Lengths Some Will Go…

Munster supporters are renowned for their ability to source tickets for Heineken Cup matches, and the stories of how far they will go to do so are legion. So when I heard about this via a comment on Slugger, I have to admit I wasn’t really surprised.

The money quote:

...as it would appear a number of Munster (or at least Irish) Rugby supporters are purchasing memberships [of the Ospreys Supporters Club] as a means to secure tickets from our allocation, we are NOT accepting any membership applications from Irish addresses.

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